I am 6 months pregnant with monoamniotic twins (girls!) and the whole time has been intense. So I thought I would start a blog to share with crazy journey, as I reckon it is one of life’s unique experiences. I have been wanting to blog about this, but struggled to find the time while 1. feeling like I would never be not-nauseated again, and then later 2. finishing up a million experiments in the lab prior to starting maternity leave…. But luckily the morning (all-day-long-life-is-hell) sickness passed and blessed leave is here now & I have some time for reflection, and preparation. I hear that this is the time to get your head right for the way your life is about to mutate into an entirely different thing….
My husband and I were not trying to get pregnant, so it came as a surprise, which was made even more exciting when the doctor doing the ultrasound said ‘oh there’s the other baby!’. I had such a shock I burst into tears and she had to leave the room so I could get a hold on myself. It was just a rush of neurotic projecting into the future and ‘Oh my God I can’t do this!’, which luckily subsided quite quickly into ‘Wow- those are my babies!’.
Then we found out that they share one placenta and one amniotic sac, apparently a rare blend of twin, 1/10 000. The doctors told us this type of pregnancy has a 50 % chance of survival for both twins in the beginning, and it was tough to hear. We have both been struggling to enjoy the pregnancy with the cloud of fear surrounding us, but with mutual support (and quite a lot of pretending everything is normal, plus ice cream for treats) we have made it so far without going completely insane. In the beginning I was so ill, I felt like life was torturing me, and I was barely functional for a month. After that, I learned how to cope with a layer of queasiness on my world, and later still the evil veil lifted and I finally felt sort-of normal again.
Every 2 weeks I have had a scan and been holding my breath, hoping they are both still ok. Since they started kicking around 22 weeks I have had more of a hint that they are doing well (thank you ninja babies), but still Google is full of negative outcomes to freak me out. I’m not sure that being informed is really better when there is nothing you can do to change the outcome, but damn I am curious so I continue to torture myself with information…
Since about 25 weeks, I felt a little more optimistic and have yielded to the urge to prepare for their arrival. I was reluctant, but really it’s insane to try and sort it out at the last minute, not to mention my ever-increasing girth! So I have decided that our girls are coming into this world and I will do my best to make it a pleasant experience for them. At this stage the survival rate is close to 90%, but still not 100% dammit…..but I am having scans every week, and trying to figure out how the hell to prepare for this whole life-altering thing. Mostly I feel really lucky to have gotten this far, that I have such an awesome supportive husband whose patience knows no end :), that I have great friends who never tire of hearing my story, and family far away but bursting with love.
So there – I hope this blog will be useful and/or entertaining & that I can keep it up!